Getting Back With Your Ex Again
Getting back with your
ex-partner again, is always possible. However, a great many people fall
into the trap of a number of obvious mistakes, in their strategy.
You cannot force love. The more you try to make your Ex love
you, or accept you again - the faster they will run in the other
direction.
Not only is this highly embarrassing to your ex-partner and
anyone within earshot, it will come back to haunt you. Your own
confidence, self-esteem and dignity, will take a nose-dive. Apart from
being just plain pathetic, it also portrays you as being weak. AND, it
won't
work!
Drowning our sorrows is an inalienable right, for anyone who has
been emotionally devastated by a break-up.Getting drunk, will win you
no brownie-points though.
With alchohol clouding your
already confused and bruised soul, you are even more likely to do or say
something really dumb - if not out-right embarrassing to all and
sundry.
Alchohol and anger,or violence often go
hand-in-hand, too. Don't make things worse. Just don't be drinking when
important matters are up for consideration!
- The Telephone and the Drink
DO NOT even THINK about it!! Nothing worse than a maudlin, ranting and raving drunk on the other end of the phone.
Be careful here. It generally takes two people to ruin a
relationship, be it with your ex- lover, ex-boy/girl friend, ex-husband,
or ex-wife. Saying you’re sorry is always a good start to the healing
process, but avoid taking the blame for everything that was wrong with
your relationship, as this may convince your ex that you are just no
good. Although the break-up may indeed be all down to you - it's not
your fault if it rained every time you went on a picnic.
Your ex-partners friends are not going to like you anymore, they will take sides and it will not be yours. Friends
do that, that's
why they are friends. Solidarity and all that.
Should
you be unfortunate enough to be informed of negative advice, about you,
by your ex's friends - wear it. Getting defensive, or even worse,
bad-mouthing them in return, will only make things worse, for you.
Your
ex will be compelled to defend the friends and create another reason to
dislike you. If you are going to succeed at winning back your ex,
accept these views gracefully. You don't have to like it, or agree, just
accept - don't compete, then at least you will have retained some
dignity.
Speaking of Dignity, do try and
not
grab the first available warm body, in an effort to make your
ex-partner jealous. This will not work, and there are a number of
colourful but rude names applied to this sort of person. Being strong
and self sustained in this matter, indicates to your ex that
they are the only one you are interested in.
Relying on your friends, as a shoulder to cry on sure is
comforting. But try not to over-burden them to the point, where they see
you coming and hide. We all know the person who bangs on about their ex
at every available opportunity. Given that this is often a normal part
of the grieving process and cathartic, it is not necessary – don’t let
it be you. Be a grown-up.
Telling tales, embarrassing stories, or rumour-mongoring about
your ex, will only come back to haunt you. The “he said/she said” game
is best left where it belongs - in the school-ground. This can have a
snowball-effect and things can get blown out of all proportion.
If you are going to
start
telling little lies - remember that you must keep telling them, to
cover the previous ones - AND you had better have an enormous memory to
keep up with them all. A Rule to Live by: “If you don’t have something
nice to say, then don't say anything."
Avoid using the word “friends”. It's a No-No. Ultimately, you
are trying to get back together, in your "relationship". So call it
that, manifest your desire - it's a "relationship". Calling yourselves
"friends" is a backward step and you may just keep on going in that
direction.
Try to avoid going to "those places we used to go". Or some
place that you know your ex-partner will be. This will not appear as a
"coincidence". You cannot just casually re-join the "old group", you
have a history now.
Guaranteed, if you try this tactic -
everyone will go quiet, immediately after they have said their
uncomfortable hello's. Apart from making a fool of yourself, what are
you going to do next? Well, you could just leave and retain at least
some of dignity.
But, you won't, will you?
No,
your going to go sit at the bar on your lonesome, sadly sipping at your
drink. Wow, what a tragic sight - surely someone will see
just-how-much-your-hurting and offer some succour? This will not garner
you one ounce of sympathy! You are only going to look pathetic! Just
don't do it!!
- "I just don't care anymore"
Okay, you have felt better. Actually you feel like crap. Who
cares what you look, or smell like? Well actually, your ex does. He/she
will be seeing how you fare, you are supposed to be trying to get back
there, not advertising that you are a lost cause.
Don't
give up on your appearance. This is the time to look your best. Start
working out, get some new clothes, and focus on improving yourself. You
need to show the world what your ex is missing, you are one prime
catch.
There is no plan, no rules, no "getting-back-together-class" -
you have to do this all-by your-self. Starting with small goals like,
keeping up your appearance, or staying sober, try to acheive these
things everyday. Then move on to those that are a little more difficult,
like creating a happy environment around yourself - buy yourself a
bunch of flowers (this applies to men, too) every Tuesday. It's a small
thing, but it helps - try it.
Quite possibly the hardest thing to accomplish when you are
feeling so devastated - You Must Try. Sitting around, wallowing in
self-pity and remorse, will not
get your ex back.
Hopefully, the words above have given you an insight into what not to do, when trying to get back with your ex again.
There is more information to be found on
Getting Back With Your Ex Again if you would like to visit:
http://relationshipswith.com/themagicofmakingup.html
Thankyou.
