Winning Back Love

Can your break up, divorce or partners rejection be prevented, even
though it seems like the world has ended?
Are you the only one trying?
How is it that some people take their lover back after an affair, or
unfaithfulness, or even abuse? Often, after a break up, people will try
resolving the situation by repeatedly telling their ex-partner how much
they love them.
Some of us believe the old saying that "love conquers all" and that our
love for our partner is so self-evident, that it should be enough to
save the relationship. The fact of the matter is that a one-sided loving
relationship often won't work. Your love for your ex-partner, vast as
it may very well be, just ain't enough - your ex-partner needs to love
you too.
AND, they need to love you the right way.
If your partners love for you is "on some level", "I really care for
you", or some similar plutonic reason, then this is a friend, not a
lover. Couples with this claim of love for each other, are either already
failing as partners, or have decided to settle-down and this is
"convenient" - for security reasons. Love that involves attraction,
desire, and excitement - Passion, is the romantic love that originally
brings people together, keeps them together, and brings them back
together after a breakup. When two people have this type of love for
each other they will do everything they can to keep the relationship
together. This is real "I can't live without you" love.


Revitalising "I can't live without you" love in your ex-partner is
extremely difficult because, you can't force these feelings in your
ex-partner. In fact, the harder you try to force it, the more likely
they are to run the other way. A more subtle approach is required to
recreate these feelings in your ex-partner. Often, your ex-partner is
only "reacting" to how you are acting and what you say.


After a break up, in our devastated state of mind, we sometimes manage
to convince ourselves that if we can make our ex feel sorry, or guilty
enough for us, they will want to get back together. So, we may act
sullen and depressed... wallowing in our self pity. Generally, being
pathetic. Or, we may over-dramatise - beating our breast, tearing our hair,
rending our clothes, and behaving in ways we normally wouldn't
(embarrassing on reflection) - hoping that our ex-partner will realize
just how much pain we are going through and how useless life is without
them.
All those things that made us attractive to our ex in the beginning, we
now pour all our energy into making ourselves unattractive.

We turn to desperate and counter productive approaches like this when
we feel we have no chance, viable alternatives, or available
options. Logic never comes into play. We are hurt. Be mindful though,
these self-destructive acts negatively impact upon your life and damage
any chance of getting your ex back. The more out-of-character you act,
the more certain they become that they made a HUGE mistake
ever taking up with you in the first place! In order to have
any chance of reconciliation, the first things to do are, temper any
irrational behavior and set aside self pity. Refuse to sink into
negative feelings and behaviors. As comfortable as self pity is, it's
not helping you get back with your ex, achieve your goals, or create
the life you want.



Considering there is no "get your ex back" night school, you may wish to visit get your ex back to gain a little more insight, as to how you can go about Winning Back Love.